


Boy Front

by EvanMin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Jeon Jungkook, Mentioned Kim Taehyung | V, Mentioned Min Yoongi | Suga, Mentioned Park Jimin (BTS), Shy Yang Jeongin | I.N, seriously though its not that angsty, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15582099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvanMin/pseuds/EvanMin
Summary: In which Jisung tries to confess his love to Minho, his best friend





	1. Intro: BOY

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing anything with StrayKids. So its not the best. I apologize in advance

 

**Can't take my eyes off you**

•

 

"So it goes,  _one,  two,  three-_ " shoes squeaked against the dance studios floor boards. And you could literally feel the words being called out. Bouncing around the large room, against the mirrors, and against the nape of your neck despite not even being near the source of the voice for it to be  _that_  loud. The artificial lights they all were used to by now fell upon the small group of boys and for a moment Jisung wondered if he was the only one getting tired by it, if it also bothered them as well. 

 

Mirrors faced three guys. Jisung couldn't help but to sigh languidly, pulling his grey hood over his wavy locks of wild bed-head he never thought to tame this morning. No point as, since it was Friday, he didn't have any classes. His nimble fingers played with the ends of his sleeves so he could hide his fingers, feel smaller. Usually he wasn't the type to wear such overlarged hoodies like he was today. It wasn't the most appropriate clothing to wear in a dance studio where there were actual people moving and causing the mirrors to slightly fog up, floors being streaked with shoe tar with each sweep of the guys. But with the gaping holes in his ripped jeans by his knees he hoped for the best to let his body breathe.

 

The song that was blasting through the speakers was one Jisung couldn't pinpoint the name of, nor the artist who made it. It sounded familiar but at the moment it was on a loop for hours now. And the blond couldn't pinpoint if it was the familiarity of the fact that it was on a loop or that he had to have heard it somewhere before. Maybe late at night while studying when Jisung needed to fuel his hunger for nuggets and a cappuccino did he hear the song playing lowly at a McDonald's. Or maybe he heard it coming from someone else's headphones when trying to cram in study sessions on his hours free between classes from a girl who shared a library booth with him. Or maybe it came on the radio when Jisung foolishly forgot his aux cord and the fact that his old car wasn't modeled with bluetooth. Whatever it was, it was loud and Jisung was having a hard time differentiating his thoughts on the dancers in front of him from the lyrics his brain decided to memorize when he wasn't even  _trying_ to pay attention to the song of choice.

 

But even under these terrible conditions Jisung was able to watch the dancers in front of him like the other two on the couch were supposed to be doing. But Jeongin had his laptop settled on his lap and was furiously typing away like the keyboard had killed his hamster(Honestly he could relate as he two had always left assignments to be last minute thoughts until-- holy shit it due tomorrow night). Changbin was also there, slumped on the other side of the couch by the arm of it, slumped to the point that he was almost, half laying on it? Whatever pose that was had him almost literally in a book. He looked not even a bit intrigued by the dancers making in-sync steps and jumps. The point was Jisung-- cleaning his glasses a bit at the slight smudges on the glass--had been staring at the dancers and he was the only one. He felt that his thoughts were able to run wild without anyone else knowing as he stared intensely at their backside. 

 

Why were guys just...  Beautiful? Like  _holy_  gay was he gay. In love, one hundred percent, with those guys who roll their sleeves up. Those broad shoulders or smaller ones,  the rough or soft hands. Even now as sweat pants, track pants, whatever the  _fucking_  term was for those cursed pants that hug boys in all the right places was on display. Yes, Jisung was admitting to checking out his three friends asses all at once and maybe...  _maybe_  how he wanted to take a bite. I mean, some guys weren't that thicc nor built really, their bone structure made it impossible to actually have these voluptuous asses(But then again you haven't seen the dance instructor who used to be a student here that applied to teaching afternoon classes. The one that Jisung most definitely did  _not_  take for the simple fact that damn... Mr.Park was thicker than a bowl of oatmeal that had sex with another bowl of oatmeal) but those pants were actual saviors for those into ass and thighs(honestly Mr.Park's boyfriend was so fucking lucky? how did someone younger than that  _God_  get a piece of that? And did he have a card to give Jisung some serious tips?).

 

Sure girls were pretty, like...  Really pretty and they smelled nice, had better fashion sense most of the time, and we're really sweet. Platonic kisses and hand holding was something they showed a lot between one another, that was inspiring to Jisung, go women. But he never saw a romantic future with them, he always had those strong platonic crushes towards his gal pals because how can they get away with messy hair in mornings? How can they just flirt with guys, or girls,  or whoever without being too shy about it all? How the fuck do they-- _or anyone in general_ \-- know what the fuck a chartreuse is? A food? Why were there so many names for one color? (And the only reason he even knows of that words existence is from an old ass bratz babyz movie he saw when he was younger and Chloe had talked about that  _stupid word_. How did that baby even know about that word let alone how to use it? Jisung didn't fucking know but now the thought of the movie had him thinking about watching it sometime this week).

 

 _Boys on the other hand_...  Jisung just...  _Ugh_  he just wanted to take them out for dinner and squeeze their face and punch them all  _at the same time_. First time he saw his friend Felix in his photography elective class he wanted to cry. His voice was like melted butter on popcorn and freckles that he swore, if outlined could make a new constellation called  _"beauty"_. Did he like him romantically? Nope.  But was he beautiful? Oh absolutely. And did he sometimes want to make out with him just so he could tell the world that  _"I, Han Jisung kissed one of the most beautiful people"?_  OH HELL YES, it was like an achievement he wanted to unlock, a trophy that popped up at the side of his screen to be able to appreciate attractive boys. Appreciating art is okay, amazing even. His friends just happened to be the biggest art exhibit that he stumbled in. And got lost.  He now lives in said exhibit.

 

Sadly though Jisung he missed his  _"how to be a normal human being"_ classes (obviously)during puberty and possibly even before that. Since birth? Would make sense. He was unable to talk great with people he likes and has crushes on, let alone any pretty person outside of his friend group(he was used to them by now). His social skills were at a 2 percent at best. Maybe even a 1.5 tops.

 

He must've killed someone in his past life to not be able to talk about his feelings. He was emotionally constipated like Sherlock Holmes or maybe even Dean Winchester but of course he wasn't as breathtaking as they were. His jawline couldn't slice bread like Sherlock and he didn't have a hot angel swooning over him in odd ways like Dean(he had an angel...  Just the wrong one because this one didn't love him back).

 

If Jisung had ever done anything wrong in his past life he  _swears_  it wasn't intentional. Or maybe he'd go back in time and talk sense into his past self. Maybe even smack himself around to put some logic in his brain since he's putting his own love life in danger by doing whatever dumbass thing he did. Maybe he killed off bumblebees, or dyed all polar bears fur a toxic waste shade of green. Whatever it was he swears on his Pokemon card collection and every beef jerky bag stashed under his mattress he didn't mean to do it.

 

He lived well and comfortably as a junior in college who worked part time at a local cafe. He had a stable source of income where he could eat lunch irresponsibly and not worry about gas money or his next bill. He was fortunate than most.

 

He never bullied anyone or cheated on tests in his childhood. Pushed his chair in and kept his desk organized. He tipped fairly and helped classmates and random people just incase so he never had bad talk about him.

 

So how he ended up so unfortunate and sickly in love with someone whom would never love him back was beyond him.

 

Jisung, sadly even with all these great things, was the most  _unfortunate_ college student with a crush. He was a hopeless romantic; the idea of undying love at first sight excited him, motivated himself to find his soulmate. So falling for someone who didn't like you back was something crushing(no pun intended). Yet was unable to look at his crush in the eyes without melting and wanting to lean in and kiss his  _tiny little button nose_  and coo for hours.

 

Lucky enough though, Jisung had good mutual friends with his roommate/crush whom knew of his struggle of love. That way he had an outlet of feelings that he could just puke up at will whenever needed. Like when his roommate walked around in the cutest sweaters, or he got Jisung his favorite coffee in the morning. He had to massively text his group chat-- excluding Minho-- about how his heart was doing somersaults. How it would be  _greatly_  appreciated if they invited him out so he could leave then and there before he did anything drastic.  He knew sometime soon he'd find his wants taking control, and that meant he'd accidentally say how much he loved his roommate and even attempt to kiss him.  Which was bad. 

 

 _Really_  bad. 

 

So for now he could dream. It was great that he could get an opinion on those who knew his crush just a little better than he did, despite him being friends with him first. Growing up with him.

 

We all know that you tell certain people things and exclude certain information from others,  such is life.  If Jisung could tell Minho about how he'd be going out on a date but then tell Felix that he was going out for fried chicken and it was an open invitation for him to join. That was his business.

 

Just like how you'd tell certain people you were dating someone and then another nothing about your significant other. He was grateful that none of his has muted or blocked him on SNS completely(though he suspected sometimes they did want to) because of it.

 

Today like most days after classes was where Jisung found himself was in a large dance studio. The room was hot,  loud.  With the music playing in the rather large dance room. Three were dancing, the rhythm  taking over as others were talking. Jisung, though was just staring. Playing with the strings of his hoodie.

 

Minho, and Felix were busy practicing a routine and apparently they 'needed moral support' which was utter bullshit since they were geniuses and great at dancing. And being music study majors didn't really help out much other than the occasional, "it looks cool" comment or "it follows the songs themes well".

 

Hyunjin on the other hand was slacking off greatly,  though none would acknowledge this. Yes, he was dancing and concentrating (though really he was on his phone texting a certain someone that they weren't allowed to bring up or mention). His phone would ding and the other two dancers would sigh. "turn the notification  _off,_   I'm tired of hearing Seungmin spam you with whatever text message" Felix's deep voice interrupted the music playing.  Minho followed suit with a smile--  _oh lord could he smiled at me like that please? Heaven has dropped an angel_ \--giggling out and playfully karate chopping at Hyunjin's neck. 

 

"Bet he said you looked nice in those jeans today?" and he went to grab Hyunjin's butt but he ran off with a screech. The other two including Jisung just chuckled to themselves at their usual antics.

 

Felix hunched over in laughter, "he was practically drooling all day over you!" and with perfect timing Hyunjin's phone went off again with 3 more dings,

 

"Oh Hyunjinnie looks so cute today" Minho said nasally. " _Swoon._ That's all he said while we were stretching today"

 

Hyunjin glared, "he does not sound like that!" and another fit of giggles erupted. Felix was on his knees on the floor trying to find his lungs as Minho kept repeating Seungmin impressions.

 

"His lips are  _illegal!_ "

 

"Stop it"

 

"He could choke me with his arms and i'd say _thank you_ " Felix piped up, lung now found.

 

Despite the loudness, the heat,  and the constant bickering: no one was complaining.

 

Jisung sighed, taking in the view of his butterscotch headed roommate Minho. But it wasn't a good one. Not a sigh of relief or taking in the sweet view of his backside clad in a white tee as he chased after Hyunjin who had his hands clasped over his ears. It was a sigh that indicated the stress he had on his shoulders. Because he was exhausted of his lingering eyes on the senior before him and how he had no chance with him. A sigh to be drowned out by the music and laughter. Very depressing to be thinking about at a time like this, he knows. 

 

Sitting up straight, the doe eyed boy slouched in his seat again though. It wasn't the best couch on the planet, stiff yet fluffy cushions he'd been sitting on for a couple hours now so pretty sure his body melted into the fabric already causing it to be impossible to sit up straight. 

 

Like those couches in waiting rooms or rich places, they look nice but damn... Once you sat down you regretted every second of it but  _what're you to do?_  Your legs are tired and standing is a weird thing to pick out of the options of standing or sitting; so you sit. And you just stare at your phone screen screaming internally because your ass hurts.  Also the fact that most places that own said couches are financially stable but still own those shitty things,  why don't they have better couches? They're evil.  The fact of the matter is that Jisung's back aches and if he didn't like being around his friends(Minho) so much he would've said  _"Fuck it"_  and left after setting the sofa on fire. Of course...  Not with his friends on it.  They would be off.  You know?  _Okay now I'm talking to myself,  this is odd._  Jisung isn't a murderer, he swears.

 

Anyways... Jisung moved a bit on his seat, body turning to his friend, Changbin, eyes focused on a book and seemingly not phased by his own crush in the dance studio. He was much stronger than Jisung was.

 

"Changbin hyung how do you even do it?" was all Jisung could mutter out, shuffling closer to the older yet smaller framed boy. exposed knees pressing into Changbin's side. His lips wedged between his teeth as he chewed slightly, eyes stuck on the side of Changbin's profile. As if he was trying to figure out the meaning of life. Engaged.

 

The elder shrugged, head tilting to the side as he did so and sighed for himself and Jisung. "I'm not sure man..." He said eyes sill scanning the pages of his book. "I just, ignore it and wait for it to go away" the answer unsurprising coming from Changbin.

 

_"You make it sound so easy"_

 

Loving someone so much was hard. It was hard when it was one-sided. Sometimes it eats at you so much you can't help but try and lock it up. But it doesn't stop you. It's harder when it's your friend due to all things being at risk. Changbin always preached that, one must sort themselves out before indulging. Build walls and have back up safe havens. Just incase the nuke of your feelings are released and it explodes everywhere. In case it backfired.

 

Changbin never did like love. Always said how it happens at the worst of times and it's always someone he doesn't deserve. But Jisung knew that better than anyone. Minho, his childhood friend was great; selfless. Even at the age of 14. Most teens wanted to be alone during puberty, and around those their own age, which didn't apply to Minho. He still stayed with Jisung. Even now in college, living together in a comfortable and affordable apartment. Never did he ever purposefully leave Jisung out of anything, he kept the younger around and Jisung was grateful that although Minho would never like him back, he still treated him sweetly.

 

But Jisung was... well,  _Jisung_.

 

He knew he wasn't the most handsome and pretty average with humor and smarts. Jisung had these big doe eyes that were pretty useful until his glasses were removed. And the brown orbs they were, had been very expressive with each gaze he held towards people. Jisung had been told many times by teachers and adults how animated he was. How just by his eyes they knew whether or not he was in a good mood. He'd also been told how scary they are when he's lost in thought... And just...

 

 _Stares_.

 

Jisung had these teeth that made him look like a squirrel/beaver hybrid whatever the fuck  _that_  would look like.  Oh yeah Jisung, but still. 

 

You get it.

 

He knew he was extra at most times with his friends and pretty loud and obnoxious in general. But he was troubled. In love with love but scared of it entirely as well. Because he wanted his soulmate and not a random person. He doesn't want to give his all for it to lead to heartbreak. He was very problematic in that case. Because he thought Minho was his soulmate, and that they were destined to be together for the ends of time. Those stories about childhood friends to lovers intrigued him and he couldn't help but dream of that for himself. But here he was suffering so much with someone who most likely was in love with someone his own age. Not a younger boy like Jisung. Someone who had their shit together and a job-- a real job-- who was intelligent and funny and reliable. Who knew how relationships worked.

 

"That's easy for you... You don't live with Felix. Lucky you" And there was a sort of malice in his tone. Knowing that it had to be easier not waking up and seeing the one you love in their pajamas. How easy it was for him to live alone, get ready and not have to see a half-dressed Felix out and about making coffee like Jisung had to see with Minho. 

 

 _It was...Domestic_.

 

It was better to imagine the possibility of it. Seeing the one you love all cute and all. Living with it was difficult. You couldn't back hug them and snuggle your face in the nape of their neck. Nor could you share coffee tasting pecks in the early morning before you start your day.

 

Changbin closed his book and set it aside, letting the couch consume him as he lost all posture and looked at the freckled blond in front of him. Now chatting away with Minho as they took their break, music turned down slightly, Hyunjin now being productive as his phone no longer emitted any sound _"I know"_

 

The couch dipped dramatically behind Jisung, the youngest of them all crashing at Jisung's backside with his lithe arms wrapping around Jisung's waist. Most likely done with his own homework now and moved from his sad side of the couch where he was doing some literature assignment, to his other hyung's.

 

"You look down again" The metal-mouthed boy said, pout evident even though Jisung couldn't see him. 

 

"So do your grades" he replied.

 

Changbin cackled, hunched over. Following suit Jisung chuckled himself, playing with Jeongin's hands. Sure it was a cute gesture but also because he knew Jeongin would choke him if he didn't.

 

 _"Har har"_  Jeongin rolled his eyes. "You're a comedic  _genius_ "

 

"I know! But seriously" Jisung finally left the depths of his thoughts though, no longer in a joking mood, shifting towards Jeongin. Having the younger snuggled up to his chest this time, arms reeling him closer. "Love sucks ass" he stated and patted the boys head.

 

"A-fucking-men" Changbin huffed(Jeongin nodded and mumbled a  _"yes, amen... ah men, gay"_  but they both decided to ignore that little anecdote), getting to his feet and stretching the hours of sitting down out, "Jisung I'll see you soon. Text ya tomorrow, yeah?" He yawned out "Being here is distracting my brain and heart..." Jisung looked at him, nodding in understanding as his eyes peered at Felix for a quick second.

 

"If you want," Changbin continued ruffling his black locks of hair, checking the time on his phone "It's late, I can drive you home. Maybe you can leave your keys for Minho to drive home?"

 

It was a nice gesture, the elder knowing that it was bad sulking and staying around someone who drowned you in emotions. But Jisung shook his head, pushing up his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

 

"Thanks but I'll stay here with Innie for a bit" And as the black haired male shuffled his jacket on Changbin nodded and waved himself off. Silently leaving the studio knowing if he was heard even over the music playing lightly that Felix would beg him to stay. He didn't have the heart to see Felix sad in person due to his departure. So he kept it between the two other boys on the couch.

 

Though a comfortable silence surrounded the two.  That is until Jeongin spoke, "Jisung you bagel," Jeongin flicked Jisung on the forehead. Never in his life had Jisung ever hear the word bagel be used to maliciously and he hoped he never had to hear that again(ptsd from a bagel is a thing...right?). 

 

"Ow what the  _fu_ -"

 

"Shh, let me talk" Jeongin started, "When are you gonna tell him?" Jisung tilted his head a bit in confusion, the thought of ptsd from a bagel still on his brain so he couldn't pinpoint what Jeogin actually was talking about.

 

"Wh-"

 

"I said to let me talk!" Now there was a hand on his mouth and then he let out a mumbled 'Ohhh that' but of course Jeongin left it there. He  _hated_  being interrupted. "I've known you since what?freshmen year? All you do is sulk over Minho and not telling him doesn't help" The younger had a point. How dare he be so right? Someone as young as him should not be this knowledgeable(only because it made him seem like an idiot in comparison).

 

"I'm working on it" Lies.  _Sort of_.

 

He was trying. Trying to have a backup plan of how to deal with it all. How maybe he had to find a new apartment. Jisung was readying for the worst. But it's not like Jeongin would know about it, how hard it was making decisions-- Yes he did but Jisung was trying his best to protect the baby image he had of Jeongin in his head--Especially when it involves your heart that could   _tear_  if heartbroken. As ironic as it sounds,  Jisung didn't have the heart to tell Jeongin of those troubles of unrequited love: the consequences of if all(even if deep down he knew Jeongin wasn't an idiot and knew somewhat about it all). Jeongin lived in an apartment by himself that his loving parents paid for, he didn't have a job besides helping clean classrooms some times. He had nothing to lose. He was new to the group and freshly in college himself. If he had  _ever_  had to deal with heartbreak Jisung wished it would be now than later. Like himself who dealt with it until now; years of unreturned love.

 

Jisung usually made decisions that end up hurting himself worse in the end.  Because he knew what was to come when staying later. The only reason for staying however was only for the sake of Jeongin.  As it got later,  that's when Jisung regretted staying longer after Changbin's  departure. Nearing ten Minho's close senior friend would stop by.  Now he wasn't Jisung's friend at first since he was a mutual between Minho and him. They had musical theory and worked together on some projects, but him and Minho clicked more. Jisung couldn't help but worry a slight. 

 

So there, almost on the dot exactly. A curly brunet, Bang Chan was walking into the studio straight to Minho with a bear hug. The biggest smile on his face as he sort of picked the other up and twirled him. It reminded the squirrely one of high school musical almost-- yes he's pathetic  _he knows_ \-- and it made his heart ache even more.

 

Jisung stiffened a but but he could also feel Jeongin freeze. And that's when he was reminded Jeongin wasn't naive as he wished he was.

 

Looking down at the younger was almost soul crushing. Because he could see the braced boys heart bare in front of him. He watch stared at the two still hugging and chatting.

 

"Jeongin... You okay?"

 

"Hyung I'm okay". Jeongin replied a little quietly, barely could Jisung hear him even with the music turned down even more.

 

It didn't last long though. It seems like years but was most likely minutes watching the two connect in front of the couch potatoes. They didn't even notice Hyunjin who took his own seat on the couch where Changbin was residing before, now totally focused on his screen with a smile.

 

Felix and Chan made some jokes together that registered Minho to crack up and playfully hit Chan's arm that had totally enthralled the couch buds attention(except Hyunjin). The same thing Jisung had seen been done before in class once. When his photography professor Mr.Kim had been interrupted one day by a shorter male he had later explained was his fiancé. The male looked squishy and had a cute little button nose and pouty lips, which he used even when he talked(the cute pout was natural!!! He may or may not have busted the biggest uwu). Jisung remembered the similar action of the shorter shyly hitting his arm, and with cheeks flushed, had said he'd see Mr.Kim later softly even with his rough and deep voce did he sound so cute. And Jisung could only think of Minho having feelings for Chan, and looking at him the way Mr.Kim's fiance looked at it him. He could only wish that knew day someone would look at him like that.

 

He had to brush off how painful it was to see the two in front of him.  But then again, how must it feel to be Jeongin right now? How did the brunet feel over the view in front of them? The dimpled curly brunet that smiled and shone a thousand suns. His eyes in crescents as they talked and sure, they always did look like that because Chan was this giant bear of fluff that Jisung didn't know was a thing until meeting him(Woojin took that place now). Like seriously this guy sang random anime ost's during class lowly to himself. Sure, he was hot. Like... Let me make popcorn with your heat please. And he obviously could have anyone he wanted. But why Minho? Why not the cute adorable and  _equally_  nerdy Jeongin who  _downloaded anime ost's?_

 

And he could only wonder for so long before the youngest actually spoke up, "actually" he said lowly, tearing his eyes from the two, looking up at him.

 

He hesitated at first, not knowing if the words he was going to say next were what he wanted. Contemplating his thoughts. Jisung's eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Jeongin having such a hard time forming words. And deep down he felt another part of him breaking for an entirely different reason now "C-can you bring me home?" Jeongin finally got out and Jisung nodded softly with a thin line of a smile, adjusting the glasses that were slipping down his nose.

 

"Get your things,  we'll go before anyone notices were gone"

 

"You're leaving so soon?" Hyunjin asked, eyes filled with worry and lips in a pout.

 

"Jeongin..." Jisung gestured to the slumped over brunet who moved off him to sit up. "You know?"

 

Hyunjin knew exactly what he meant. He totally forgot about it too, how it affected his dear friends. He found himself consoling Jeongin with a little side hug, arm around his waist. Hyunjin knew of Jisung's feeling towards their dancer friend, Minho.

 

Now Jisung wasn't an asshole,  he understood that Minho can like someone else that wasn't him. He didn't feel entitled to his friends feelings. And he also wasn't as brave as Changbin,  leaving without a goodbye. But when things like this presented themselves to the strawberry blond he did what he did best. Ran away from it; flight instead of fight. And since it not only affected him but also the younger he felt more in need to run. To leave. Usually Jisung could survive a little more and keep down his feelings but that look on Jeongin's face broke him. He had to go.

 

At the moment he didn't care about the late night coffee's he'd go out to get Minho when he was staying late, Felix and Hyunjin tagging along in his old beige car with the old zebra printed seat covers(Hey, it was pre-owned and he loved it either way). He would miss the small wave yet big smile from Chan when he said his goodbyes. Miss the texts to the group chat about whatever antics they were all up to. When Jeongin would be at Seungmin's playing some Kingdom Hearts and eating some chips with Seungmin and waiting for Felix's midnight meme spree. Jisung pushed all that he was going to miss out on to the side.

 

Jeongin was quick to pack his things and slip his hoodie on, silent as he waited next to the couch. The elder of the two walked up to Felix who was on his phone, scrolling through social media as he was no longer in the conversation between Minho and Chan. Seemed like he was looking at memes and getting ready to spam the fuck out of their  _'gay boi's'_  chat. It seemed that the other two went off to the other side of the dance studio to privately talk from what Jisung could tell; They were whispering to one another.

 

"Yo Felix," He called out to the blond, his bag slung around one of his shoulders. Felix looked at him for a second before peering behind him to the couch that was now empty with the exception of the youngest leaning on it, hood pulled up. Hyunjin had joined Jisung shortly, walking up behind him and giving the shorter boy a back hug. Jisung knew who Felix was really looking for but decided not to say anything.

 

Despite a certain person missing, Felix smiled brightly like he always did in a way to tell Jisung to continue speaking, "I'm going home with Jeongin right now, should I leave my keys here for you guys to get home?"

 

"We'll be here pretty late," Felix nervously scratched at the back of his neck, nibbling at his bottom lip in thought momentarily, "Would it be an issue if you left the keys?"

 

Jisung shook his head, burying his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. "Nah, I'll bring Jeongin home with me since its in walking distance and his place is farther. Thank  _god_  its the weekend" He chuckled.

 

"We'll miss your squirrely-self Sungie" Hyunjin said and let him go to start actually working on his routine this time. Hugging Felix goodbye and passing his precious keys from his pocket.

 

Turning to Jeongin he signaled the younger to get up as it was ready to go. Any longer and they'd be caught by Minho. But then again he was too busy talking to Chan to even notice the music had turned up, that Felix had slumped into the couch as he kept his eyes to his phones screen. Knowing how intense and lost Jeongin's stare was at Chan and Minho, he pulled Jeongin to the side of him by holding his hand. "we gon' be walking my precious bean" He went to kiss the youngers cheek and felt Jeongin push his face away both erupting into fits of giggles.

 

"Great, I'm stuck with you for the rest of the night" Jeongin jokingly sighed and looked up as if praying.

 

"Hey!" Jisung yelled, attacking the younger in noogies to his scalp ignoring Jeongin's  _ow's_ , "I'm the best you little shit."

 

But they left hand in hand out the studio to walk to Jisung's shared apartment. Knowing that both him and Jeongin needed a break together.   


 

•

  
**you and my eclipse**


	2. F

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sure it was cliché to be not only in love with your childhood friend but even end up living with them was so... cliché... and maybe that wasn't bad.

**I only see you in my eyes  
**

**•**

 

"I wanna die" Jisung groaned to himself as he shuffled his way into his bedroom, legs aching from all the rounds of walking he had to do during is morning classes. They of course had to be put on the opposite sides of the campus. Not only that but the fact that he had photography classes and Mr.Kim said it would be a "better experience" if they did a small session of outside photoshoots as a group. To give each other tips on how they adjust their camera, the different angles and basically "The different values" people have towards nature. And you would think  _"Oh okay so we'll go to the nearby park literally outside of campus!"_  but no. Mr.Kim had the entire class and him walk to a flower shop blocks away from campus just because-- get this whipped culture-- his fiance worked at the shop and he needed an excuse to see him. 

 

Jisung gratefully though took amazing shots... That weren't of nature however. It was just so captivating to see his teacher leaning over a counter and placing a red carnation on the shorters ear. The looks on their faces and the flowers placed on the walls behind them made a great shot, in fact any shot he could take was of his professor and fiance at different spots of the shop. You'd think they would notice a student following them around and taking massive shots but nah, they were too busy talking about whatever (He didn't pay attention after the comment Mr.Kim had made about the shorter ones ass because that would be scaring to imagine them two being... intimate).

 

But honestly it was tiring to see that much love being omitted that Jisung was getting sick to his stomach. He sort of wished in that moment that his love for Minho would decrease. Honestly it was pathetic now and he knew that if he just let it go then it wouldn't be so hard to watch his professor and fiance. He was envious. 

 

Just thinking about Minho made his heart flutter. Imagining what it would be like to have the strawberry blond to slip a flower into his hair, to shyly press a hand on his backside just so they could be touching even if it was slightly. To be able to stare unabashedly the way the couple in front of him were was a dream. But then again... If he had not had liked Minho the did then he would be in love with someone else and the cycle of puppy love would continue. Maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe he would move on soon? He didn't know... it felt like this ache would last forever 

 

The bed sheets were cold. Cold against a certain squirrely teens fingertips. His body curled on his side as his phone laid nicely with the screen down as random chill-hop played quietly in his room. His small room which echoed the soft music and made it a lot louder. Especially with the fact that Jisung was quiet and just breathing. His heart calmly pounded against his rib cage underneath the jacket he still had on, in fact he still had his entire attire on from today. His combat boots however clean, dirty against his soft grey sheets on his low loft bed.

 

Jisung faced his wall, the wall littered with posters, fairy lights in an attempt to be this aesthetically pleasing in some way was a big goal for him. His room was dull. And the only light was that from the windows throughout the house that let only droplets of light in. But it was a perfect reflection of how Jisung felt. whether that be emotional or physical he couldn't tell anymore.

 

In his apartment-- in fact his shared apartment --stayed quiet except for the soft tunes and even smooth rapping at some points as he laid there, the soft sunlight filtered in the room through his white curtains.

 

His roommate wasn't home, he had said he would be out on a small shift after classes because of his coworker, Kihyun, had gotten sick. Leaving him and the other coworker, Jooheon, to work at the small art supply store. Meaning Jisung was left alone. Sure Jisung wasn't just this lazy ass who just sulked over boys, it was just that throughout the week Minho was always busy.

 

He missed him...his roommate... his best friend...

 

_his love_

 

And sure it was cliché to be not only in love with your childhood friend but even end up living with them was so... cliché... and maybe that wasn't bad.

 

To Jisung it wasn't anything bad, it just meant that he had another reason to be to close to his best friend. He could hug him, he could sleep in the same bed with him, consider their outings little friend dates. Knowing each others family and siblings to the point that you have each others house keys.

 

They were so close: whatever Jisung did wouldn't raise any suspicion to the elder boy whom stole his heart such a long time ago. How does he have any pieces left? Each is filled with the brim with his best friend.

 

He didn't realize how long had he been laying on the bed as the video switched up to a more upbeat song choice and he couldn't hear the front door opening. Revealing a certain male as he took his shoes off, a bag of food in his hands.

 

Said male heard the soft music playing and smiled softly, knowing that Jisung was full in thought and possibly over-thinking something.

 

With a soft grin he quietly tiptoed to Jisung's room to see him facing the wall so he walked up and crawled himself onto the bed, hand placed softly on Jisung's thigh, "Jisungie~ why are you still dressed?"

 

Jisung jumped a bit as he looked up at the brown eyed boy. Oh how whipped he was for Lee Minho.

 

"I was too tired to hyung" He spoke softly and Minho shook his head and faked a stressed sigh and helped take off Jisung's boots and even shuffled the youngers jeans off him. It was something he was used to. The closeness.

 

Jisung flipped over on his back, grabbing his phone to close and lock it, cutting the music to a silence. But his eyes stared up at the elder who smiled softly at him and huffed as Jisung pouted. "Off" Jisung huffed, pulling the bottom of his sweater trying to catch Minho's attention.

 

"Lazy"

 

"You love me"

 

"Nah"

 

It was times like this when Jisung sort of wished he never met Minho in the first place. If the places were switched Jisung would be affected greatly by Minho asking him to help remove his clothes(Well not verbally anyway). But maybe that was just him I guess. The elder was very shameless so even if this did affect him- which most definitely it didn't- he wouldn't have any expression(though this was just reassurance that maybe he had a chance despite the answer always going to be no). But things like this, the no barriers made Jisung worried in a way?

 

Because with this came the thought of, if Minho did get a boyfriend or girlfriend in the near future would this change? Would this closeness between them no longer be able to exist? Maybe it wouldn't, because who would want someone after your lover? Someone who's in love with  _your_  person.

 

If Jisung knew someone else had the eyes for Minho(which he already suspected of that) he would feel at least a little insecure that whoever it was, was better than him. Jisung didn't know what to expect. All he knew was that if he lost this, this caring Minho who looked after him on even his worst days, he wouldn't last. The heartbreak he could live with, it's only natural that you experience it once in your life. In fact he heard it was common to fall for your close friend so he had to get over it, right? But losing his best friend was a worse fate.

 

It's not like this is a secret. He's sure that Minho knew his feelings. Just that he was pushing them away, deflecting them since he didn't feel the same. Which was fine it was just that-- if only he told him. It would be better if Minho just told him that he didn't like him. That he was weird and that Jisung was crossing boundaries he didn't want crossed. Maybe this was too much as well. That maybe Minho was uncomfortable with it all.

 

But If he could keep this charade of just being close pals for now, he would, he would always do it to make sure that they stayed this way. Because one second his thoughts were filled with Minho, then his body was overwhelmed with the heat of it, and his heart would almost freeze at the even mention of Minho.

 

"How about, we cook, and watch a movie?"

 

Of course, more domestic things that boyfriends do. It made Jisung happy as equally as it made him sad. Knowing that he could only dip into what he dreamed of but never being able to fully submerge himself into it.

 

By the time they were both in pajamas it had creeped into the later afternoon, where the sun barely peaked over the trees as they roamed the kitchen looking for something.

 

"Would you like pasta perhaps?" Minho asked, the cabinet opened and filled with all kinds of noodles. It was all his fault too as whenever there was a sale at the market he'd grab a bunch of food-- especially noodles-- and stock their apartment full of it. Did they really need it? No, but at least they knew they weren't going to be starving.

 

"Put some water in here-" Minho who had grabbed a box of pasta ordered, now holding the pot they needed, "To the top"

 

Jisung did as told, of course he did.

 

This silence that followed was perhaps Jisung's favorite. Because it really showed their chemistry. Showed that they could dance this thing called cooking with no words, just this equal balance between them. It made the younger tingle, his heart singing this melody.

 

But the best part was when Minho plated the food once it was done. The way he made sure it was the perfect amount for the other because he knew Jisung wasn't a big eater. Giving him the small spoon in the apartment because he knew that's what Jisung liked best. It was a blessing that he knew him that well. But a curse because Jisung has never been treated like this before.

 

Sure Changbin knew a tad bit more about Jisung since they practically always vent to each other all the time. Maybe Jeongin knew more too. But it wasn't that closeness, that utter nurturing feeling that someone was thinking of you the way Minho did. Then again this was just his assumption, that every action was pertained to him and that Minho had subconsciously thought about him through subtle moments. Maybe it was true, but not in the way Jisung wanted it to.

 

So he grabbed his plate with a grateful smile, taking it to the living room to pick and watch a movie. Today Jisung realized even more than last time that he has to come out with the truth. That he needed to speak his truth.

 

Maybe his heart wouldn't ache as much as it did if he told Minho. But he did know his mattress wouldn't feel any lighter with the heavy feelings on his chest, the sadness that loomed over him. Knowing that even if he was confident, if he did try to show Minho how he was a good--well could be-- a great boyfriend. Minho would never like him back sadly, and he knew that. But Minho needed to know.

 

That's all Jisung knew. Not of what he was going to do the next day. Not the conversations he'd be apart of in his group chats. All that was on his mind was telling Minho.  _He knew how pathetic that was._

 

**•**

**  
Can’t touch, you were dangerous**


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